If It Means A Lot to You
by resistanceisuseless
Summary: Sequel to 'Actors'. Chloe's finding it hard to cope when everything hits her hard from before and it's starting to affect her life. And when Louis and Niall drop a bombshell on her, she has only one person left to go to... Jack.
1. Getting Back to Normal

Two years ago my life changed and I suppose right now I'm coping well. Sure, it was a difficult time and I guess I coped with it better back then but now it was getting the better of me. I suppose the drama from then only just kicked in and even now, everyone says they can see it in me. All I do now it sit in my room, avoiding everyone and it sucks really.

You see, two years ago I fell in love with my best friend, Jack Barakat. It was my birthday and he told me how he felt. It was going to happen sometime and I failed to tell myself that at the time. I said to myself that best friends always try and see if they can be more than friends... unfortunately that was the case and it didn't go as planned. A year before then I'd cheated on my then-boyfriend with Jack's best friend Alex and hoping to keep it a secret, Jack's ex girlfriend went and told everyone whilst on tour with Alex's bands and supports. That's how it ended between me and Jack. Searching for support, I went to a guy called John, lead singer of The Maine and spent the rest of the tour with him. We got it on before tour finished and I had to leave him.

I spent my time after with my friends and the boy's from One Direction who'd I'd met on a shopping spree (yes, that easily). I thought everything was fine until I was told that John was involved in a car crash. And well... he was killed.

That was what made me suffer so much these past few years. I wasn't affected that much for some reason but now it was killing me. We'd had the funeral and everything and even then, I wasn't affected that much. But I guess it's thinking back on everything and even talking about it is a problem.

Anyway, current life is okay. Jordan had her child with Harry and it was a boy. Harry was pleased and so was Jordan because of the thick dark curls he'd inherited from Harry. She named him Jason Edward and he turned 2 last week. My current boyfriend Louis, who's also Harry's best friend, is probably the person I can relate to the most.

Life now was just basically a routine for me now. I finished studying at college with Jordan but we stayed on to do our degrees at the same college. She was doing a degree in Maths while Harry was looking after Jay and I was studying Music Practice. I really wanted to become a tour manager after hanging around with Flyzik, the tour manager for All Time Low (Alex's band), for a while when we were all on tour.

So, the day started when I woke up to the sounds of arguing and a few balloons popping.

_Wait, balloons?_

I dragged myself out of bed and attempted to go and find out what was going on. I was still living with the boys and Jordan and Jess but I didn't think they minded. Of course, all three of us got attention from media, about the fact that we were dating 'some of the most popular guys in history' but I just shrugged and walked away if they caught sight of me in the street.

I opened the bedroom door, the bedroom I shared with Louis and walked out to the hallway, just to walk straight in him.

'I thought you learned to look where you're going the first 5 times you did that.' His voice echoed in me and made me weak at the knees. If his voice did that, you'd imagine what his face did. Luckily, I wasn't in the mood this morning to be all love-sick over my boyfriend.

I stumbled and Louis grabbed me by the arms and pulled me against the wall trying to steady me, but taking it as an advantage. He started kissing me, and slowly making his way down to my neck but I pushed him away and shook my head.

'No, Louis. Not now.' I said quietly but he pretended not to hear. He continued kissing me and I responded but not as enthusiastically as he did. I felt all my desire for him melt away but I denied it, scared that if I admitted it, I'd carry on thinking like that. I felt so tired, I wanted to fall asleep right there. I mean, it wasn't as if me and Louis hadn't gotten 'intimate' because we had. Apparently, we were more intimate than Liam and Jess and Harry and Jordan put together... a Jordan had a child.

When Louis pulled away, he stared at me with his inky blue eyes. He smiled cheekily at me and I couldn't help but laugh. He lifted his finger to my chin and raised my head.

'That's better.' He said softly. He knew everything I went through and he was the most sympathetic towards me. He witnessed everything, from John's death to Jasmine, Jack's bitch-filled ex.

Speaking of her, I hadn't seen or heard of her since she disappeared that night I collapsed. She told me that she'd dreamt about John dying and I thought it was another pile of bullshit but it turned out she was right after all. That was another one of the reasons why I felt so down about myself and feeling like it was my fault that I didn't listen to her. The more I thought of John, the worse my feelings got. I mean, two years ago there were a few signs that told me he was still with me and he was happy but I just felt uncomfortable... this stuff was affecting me way too much.

Louis distracted me from my intense daydreaming and took my hand.

'C'mon, let's go downstairs.'

Louis dragged me downstairs and into the living room where everyone was sat. Harry and Jordan were attempting to blow up balloons whilst keeping an eye on Jay who was running around in circles. Jess and Liam were arguing over what went in next for a cake and Zayn and and Niall were sorting out banners and other various decorations and it wasn't going very well...

I stood in the doorway, holding onto Louis' hand and coughed quietly. Jay seemed to be the only one to notice me and screamed, 'Aunt Chloe!' before making the rest of the group jump at his little screaming voice. Harry was suddenly alert in case the screaming was for anything else but relaxed when he saw me in the doorway.

'But nothing's ready!' Niall complained, throwing a banner on the floor.

I finally smiled when they all screamed, 'happy birthday!'


	2. Three Years Ago Today

I smiled at the guys who'd made such an effort with all the decorations but Niall was still pissed that he hadn't sorted out the banners.

Then a sudden wave of pain ran through me. It wasn't physical pain but emotional pain from the memories. I couldn't put my finger on it but then it hit me; it had been three years ago today that I'd spent my 18th birthday with All Time Low on their tour bus and the day that Jack... when Jack told me. It was still hard to think about it when I thought about all the shit we'd been through and how I tried to convince myself not to make the decision to be with him but I had. I wanted to stop thinking about it but it was like my brain was telling me I had to talk about. Problem was; I didn't know who to talk to. I couldn't talk to Louis about it because I knew he'd get annoyed and complain about it 'being the past' like he always said.

I snapped out of my daydream when Niall nearly knocked me over when he ran over to me to give me a hug. He was only an inch shorter than me. Louis squeezed my hand and then took me further into the living room when Niall had finally pulled away. The rest of the guys hugged me but there's was always one who took it to the extreme... Jordan. When she saw me after the guys had finally parted from a big circle, she screamed happy birthday and jumped on me, knocking me to the ground.

I laughed in hysterics and tried to push her off me.

'Happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday, twin!' she screamed in my ear. Harry and Louis pulled us both up to our feet and they sat down on the sofa. Jess was sat on Liam's lap quietly and Zayn and Niall pretended to imitate Jess and Liam by Niall sitting on Zayn's lap.

I giggled quietly and stood with Louis, who was bouncing up and down with excitement. He leaned into me and whispered 'happy birthday, I'll leave my present for later' and winked. I opened my mouth in shock and stood on his foot playfully so Louis kicked me harder.

Boys...

Still, something was keeping me from being completely happy. I couldn't put my finger on what it was though.

I smiled at them all and went to open the presents that was sat in a pile in the corner. Louis followed me and sat with me as I ripped open the presents like a 5 year old. I screamed in excitement and Louis' eyes lit up when he saw how happy I was.

I ripped open all the presents and smiled at all of them. A One Direction calendar, iTunes vouchers, One Direction's CD and a load of jewellery and other things were spread out on the floor.

'Oh my god thank you so much guys!' I yelled before getting up and hugging them all. Then Jay ran up to me and handed me a little red box and smiled at me.

'Awh, thank you.' I said to him and ruffling his hair before he ran back to sit between Jordan and Harry without a word.

I pulled off the dark red ribbon and opened the box to find a little hand-made bracelet with pink and green stripes and a little charm with a teddy bear on it.

'He made it himself. He wanted to give you something special for your birthday.' Harry said looking at Jay and at Jordan and smiling. I smiled at Jay and put the bracelet on. Louis helped me tie it up and it was a perfect fit.

Even though everyone tried so hard to make my 21st birthday special, the constant memory of Jack and John still clouded my mind.

I was sat in the garden when Jordan ran out with Harry. He started kissing her and I coughed just to make myself noticed.

'Guys, get a flaming room for crying out loud.' I complained but Jordan just laughed. She came over and playfully punched me on the arm and sat by me on the bench. Harry backed away back into the kitchen where he assisted Louis in

'Hey twin, what's up?'

God, she could tell my emotions from miles off.

'I'm... fine.' I replied.

'No you're not, twin. I know when you're down and you're not exactly keeping it subtle. Tell me.' she pleaded and I sighed. We turned to face each other and I leant against the back of the bench.

'Just... you know what day it is right?'

'Course I do, but that can't stop you from being happy. I mean, Jack's in Baltimore at the moment so why is it affecting you?'

I shook my head. 'I just... I guess it's because it lead to all that stuff with John and now I can't stop thinking about him and—'

'Twin, I don't want to sound mean but, the past is the past and you can't dwell on it. Don't tell me you're falling out of love with Louis are you?'

I stared at her. 'What? No way! I love him more than anything, but I can't let go of anything else.'

'Then what is it?'

'I just can't cope with any of this anymore, Jord. I feel like everything is falling apart. Call me emo but—'

'Emo.'

I glared at her but she just laughed. 'Look. There's been something I've wanted to do for ages now and we've never had the chance to do it. I've already booked the tickets for it so you just need to go and pack.'

I stared at her blankly.

_Keep me on edge why don't you..._

Jordan giggled and got up. 'We're going to New York!'

My jaw dropped and I stared at Jordan, hardly being able to contain my excitement. We both grabbed each other's arms and squealed.

'And this holiday means just us girls; no boys, no worries and we're just gonna have a good time!'

Sometimes, I actually did love life when things like this happened.


	3. Well Isn't Bag Packing Fun?

Louis grasped onto my favourite hoodie and pouted, 'I don't want you to leave!'

I used all of my strength to take it from him and ended up being thrown onto the bed we shared after he found it funny to suddenly let go. I got back up and went to my wardrobe but Louis stood in front, hands on hips.

'I want you to stay.'

'No.'

'Yes.' I pushed him aside and grabbed two pairs of converse and packed them neatly into my suitcase. Louis went round to the other side of the bed and started taking out my clothes. As I put more in, he took them out until all my clothes were just piled up on the bed.

'But I'll miss you and then I'll be upset. I don't want you to go.' He whined, leaning over the bed.

'I have to deal with it when you're on tour with the others.' I replied, kissing his nose then continuing to put the clothes back into my suitcase. Louis pouted again and then sat on the end of the bed hanging his head. I sighed and walked round, kneeling in front of him.

'Don't make it look like it's my fault. I want... no wait I _need_ this.' I took his hands in mine. Louis pretended to cry and I flicked him on the nose. 'Stop being mean to me.'

He smiled and looked down at me. 'I'm not being mean to you but I'll just miss you loads.'

'I'll miss you too but Jord put in loads of work and she paid for it too and I really wanna go and—'

He stopped me from talking by falling to his knees opposite and pressing his lips to mine. We stayed there for a moment, and Louis started to pull me onto the bed... I knew what he was going to do.

Before I could say anything, he pulled away and smiled at me.

'Seeing as we're not gonna be seeing each other for 2 weeks, can we—?'

I pressed my lips to his again and nodded. I let go of him and went to shut the door when I saw Harry walking down the hallway to his room. I looked and him and he winked before putting finger to his lips and walking back downstairs again.

I laughed at shut the door.

**Later...**

Louis had fallen asleep and was lead on top of the bed. I threw the duvet over him in case Jordan walked in to see if I'd finished packing and got a surprise. I quickly shoved my clothes that had been thrown on the floor and underwear into my suitcase and went to drag it downstairs. I nearly fell down the stairs before someone grabbed me and stopped me.

'Whoa, need a hand?' It was Niall who was keeping me from falling. I regained my balance and smiled at him. He smiled back at me and leaned closer.

_Oh crap... awkward..._

I remember Louis told me about Niall liking me and I thought nothing would ever happen like that. I could feel the tension in the room when they were together but they never showed it.

I couldn't look Niall in the eye but I agreed for him to take my suitcase downstairs. Harry came out of the room and ruffled his hair and without a word walked into the bathroom.

I followed Niall downstairs where Jordan and Jess were too with their suitcases. They both hugged me and started squealing.

'Shush, Louis' still asleep.' I said playfully, pointing upstairs to our room. Jordan giggled and we started taking our stuff from the living room to Liam's car. Liam and Zayn gave us a hand with all of Jess' stuff; she obviously thought we were going for twice as long as we actually were.

Before we left for the airport, Louis ran downstairs in his boxers and glared at me.

'Were you gonna say goodbye to me or just leave?' he said, crossing his arms. I smiled, Niall took my bags and I ran over to Louis. I unfolded his arms and held his hands,

'You know I'd never leave without saying goodbye.'

I threw my arms around Louis and kissed him. That set Jordan off and she ran to Harry to say goodbye as did Jess. Niall tried to pull us away and get us in the car but we refused to.

'Not until I've said goodbye to you.' I said to him and his eyes widened.

_Oops, I didn't mean to say it like that._

I looked over to Louis who looked like he didn't hear (hopefully). I hugged Niall and Zayn, ruffled Harry's hair and kissed Jay and stood with the girls.

'Guy's let's go.' Liam said, taking all three suitcases and carrying them to the car.

_Show off..._

We waved to the guys who were squashed in the doorway and piled into Liam's car. We drove to Bristol International Airport and were singing at the top of our lungs to One Direction's debut album. Liam sat in the driver's side, fighting the urge to sing along and we all just laughed at him.

When we arrived, Liam dropped us off outside.

'Guys I can't come in with you for obvious reasons.' He said, turning round to face us all.

'Don't worry, we'll be fine.' I replied, smiling at him.

'Okay, then. You girls have a good time.' Liam kissed Jess and Jordan and I made gagging noises. Jess glared at us and got out of the passenger seat. We rolled our suitcases up to the airport, checked in and waited for our plane. It started getting dark on the runway and the lights flickered on in the airport.

Finally, the woman over the speakers announced our flight and we loaded our things onto the plane. As we sat down in our seats, right at the back, a familiar voice came from the front of the plane. It was a woman's voice and she was complaining about not getting a first class flight. She started to raise her voice and people started looking weirdly at her.

I tried to tell myself it wasn't her but it was true. There was no escaping it. I leaned over the seat in front of me and glanced at her. The same, wavy blonde hair, the inches beyond inches of make-up, the tan lines and the skimpy clothes... yup, it was all there.

Jasmine, Jack's ex stood there, flawless and as perfect as she always thought she was. She looked over and noticed me. It looked like she didn't know whether to smiled or mouth off at me but in the end she didn't do anything and just faced the air hostess again.

_For crying out loud, could she not leave me alone?_


	4. So Much For Best Friend

I sank down in my seat making sure that she didn't remember that I was going to be sat on the same plane as her for the flight. Jordan picked up straight away that something was wrong.

'What's up, twin?' she asked, putting down her Kerrang! magazine in the bag on the floor in front of her.

'Jasmine.' I replied, looking up over the seat again to check where she was. Luckily, she'd given up trying to argue and sat in the seat near the front of the plane.

_Thank god._

'You're joking, right?' Jordan said mouth agape. I shook my head and pointed over to where she was sat. Jess was obviously overhearing what we were saying and leaned over to join us.

'You'll never guess who she's with either. Chloe, you may want to not look.' Jess said. I ignored her advice and lifted myself up and looked over again.

_Oh my god, no way._

Jack was with her too and as he went to sit next to her. He lifted his head and looked straight at me. My eyes widened and I panicked so I fell back into my seat.

'What the hell? I thought he didn't like her.' Jordan said. I shook my head in disbelief.

'So did I. I'm gonna text him.' I pulled out my phone and went to start texting him but Jess lowered my phone.

'There's no point. He might not have seen you so just keep on a down-low.' She said.

'But he looked straight at me. He looked me straight in the face, Jess. Of course he knows I'm here.' I hissed. Jess shrugged and sat back in her seat.

The plane still hadn't taken off and there were still a lot of seats left on the plane. The pilot announced that the plane was being refuelled and would be taking off shortly.

_Thank fuck._

'Are you still gonna text him?' Jordan whispered as she noticed Jasmine getting up and going to the back of the plane for the toilet. I remembered I had my phone in my hand and I searched for Jack's number.

'Yes.'

I was texting so fast because I was pissed off and that was not a good way to start the holiday.

_-Nice to see you've said hi to me.-_

I text him and waited for a response impatiently.

**-What?-**

_-Jack, I know you saw me, why are you with Jasmine?-_

**-I'm not with her. I'm only on the same plane. Where are you?-**

_-Well, you were sat with her. I'm sat at the back.-_

**-Are there any people in front of you?-**

_-No.-_

**-I'm coming over now.-**

I didn't even bother to check the reply from Jack so I shoved my phone in my pocket and faced Jordan. I heard a vibration and she looked at me and I shrugged.

'Y'know he's being a dick right? Getting it on again with Jasmine. If that's what he's doing.' Jordan said. I nodded my head. I looked over again and the doors to the plane were shutting. Jack stood up and looked over to me, pulling up his trousers and walking over. When he got there, he smiled at us all and leaned over so he was looking at me.

'Hey.' He said.

'You're such a dick.'

'What did I do?'

'Don't lie about being with Jasmine. I saw you talking to her.'

Jack sighed and shifted in his position so he was more comfortable. 'I'm only with her because she bought my plane ticket for me to come over here. I've been in England for a month because it was my cousin's wedding and I was skint.'

'And Jasmine just so happened to be in England at the same time in the same place and you asked her and I suppose you didn't even think about asking me.' I retorted.

'Yeah, but you never have any money.' He laughed, trying to make a joke out of it but I glared at him and he stopped.

'Tell me the truth.' I said.

'I am.'

'Liar.'

'Not.'

Jack smiled at me guiltily and waited for my response.

_Wait, why was I thinking like this? Jack wasn't my responsibility and I wasn't dating him anymore. Did it even matter to me or am I just making it my own problem?_

I knew I was taking something that wasn't my busniness into my own hands... stupid idea. I glared at Jack and he looked away nervously. Jordan tugged at my jacket in an attempt to sit me back down so I did.

Jack sighed and walked away without another word. Jess coughed and managed to squeeze in to the cough the word 'Jasmine' and I instantly turned round. She sauntered down the aisle and glanced quickly at me, Jordan and Jess before turning back and sitting next to Jack again.

'Why do you think he's here with her?' Jess asked.

I shrugged. 'I have no idea but this holiday's supposed to be fun. Let's not have it messed up shall we not? Jack knew what she did to me and him so it's his own choice. He's supposed to be my best friend but if he carries on like that... he's not gonna be my best friend for much longer.'

With that the plane started up and we started our journey to New York.


	5. No Idea

**Sorry I haven't upload in a couple of weeks, guys. I've been held down by homework and I just haven't felt like anything's come to mind with this D: I know where I want to go now, but it's gonna take me a while :( Thanks for being so patient, I'll try to upload some more in the coming days. Also, I've enabled anonymous reviews so please please please, if you're not a member, please review and tell me what you think! Thanks again :D xxxxxxx**

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><p>I spent the journey fighting the urge to look over to see Jack and Jasmine in case they couldn't keep their hands off each other. I don't know why I thought like that; I guess I assumed whenever Jack was with another girl he was getting off with her. Jess was constantly on the phone to Liam who sounded about as tired as the next person who was woken up at a ridiculous time because Jess forgot that New York was 5 hours behind England.<p>

It was a bore really. Jordan kept reassuring me that nothing was going to happen but I wasn't so sure myself. When the plane landed, both Jordan and I got off the plane before Jess we were starting to walk toward the airport when we realised Jess was still on the plane. We turned around and there she was, dragging her bags of hand luggage off the plane. Jordan and I turned to look at each other and laughed.

We both knew exactly what we were thinking.

'She's as bad a Liam.' We both said in unison. When Jess had finally dragged herself to see us we both laughed and she scowled at us.

'Shut up.' She said without even knowing what we'd said. Then just as we entered the airport to grab our taxi to the hotel, we saw Jack and Jasmine coming out at the same time as us.

'Ignore him.' Jordan whispered in my ear.

'I can't really. He's gonna be stalking me the whole time we're on holiday.' I replied, slowly moving with Jordan and failing to catch up with Jess.

'Why would he do that?' she asked. I looked at her and raised my eyebrow.

'Oh right.' She said. You see, because we were so alike, she could sense that something was wrong and she definitely almost always knew what I was thinking. And now was no exception. When I looked at her, I kind of mentally said to myself what happened and now I was thinking that the reason Jack was hear was because he wanted to see me. But that was stupid.

'I'm going to have a proper conversation with him when I get to the hotel. I want to know what's really happening.'

'On your head be it.' Jordan shrugged and ran to catch up with Jess who was already starting to put her bags in the boot of the taxi. Jack looked at me unintentionally then quickly looked away again before I had chance to say something. I opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out. Jasmine followed him behind with more suitcases than Jess'. I glared at her back wanting to punch her but she was too far away and she would've seen it coming.

_Unlike on tour..._

I smirked at the memory and followed Jordan to the taxi. All three of us squeezed in the back to the taxi and I pulled my phone out. Jordan peered over to glance at what I was doing but chances were that she already knew. I found Jack's number and started a text whilst we were on our way to the hotel.

_-You and me in the closest coffeeshop in an hour. I'm not going to let this go over my head.-_

I never bothered to wait for a reply. It took Jack ages to reply anyway, especially if he was with Jasmine. I checked my phone again when we arrived at the hotel. And my god, Jordan must have spent so much money on my birthday present.

'I love you, twin!' I screamed, throwing my arms around her neck. Jess stood there awkwardly and pretended not to notice Jack and Jasmine walking into the same hotel.

'Oh, for crying out loud, can't he just leave me be?' I moaned. Jordan scowled at Jasmine who looked at us all blankly then walked off in the direction that Jack was in, nearly walking into the back of him.

'Maybe it's a sign.' Jess suggested, standing next to me and dropping her bags on the floor.

'A sign of what?' I retorted. Jess just stared back. 'Sorry.'

We approached the woman at the desk and asked for the keys to the room which was on the 3rd floor because Jordan didn't like heights, no matter whether she was chained safely somewhere. Jordan handed me the keys but ended up snatching them back because I was struggling with opening the door. Jess and laughed and I stared at her.

We dumped our things in each room and Jordan pulled out a piece of paper.

'Okay guys, here's the plan. We're gonna check out a load of shops in the next few days, grab something to eat for dinner now then go down to the bars this evening and join in with the crowd. They've got a bunch of bands playing there tonight apparently.' Jordan said without even glancing at the piece of paper in her hand.

So Jordan had planned our day already and we'd barely been able to unpack our bags. We all made a vow that this holiday would just be about us girls and no boys; not even texting them. But how could I even contemplate having a good time when Jack was just a couple of doors down the hallway with Jasmine?

Finally, I'd had enough.

'Before we have a good holiday, I have one more thing to do.' I said. Jordan looked at me and instantly knew what I was going to do. I went to turn round and walk out of the door when she grabbed me by the arm and pulled me back inside.

'No, you can't.' She protested.

'I have to. Would you rather me get it over and done with or spend the holiday thinking about Jack?' I replied. Jordan sighed and let go of my arm which she'd squeezed so tightly it made my arm red.

'Okay, but any problems; call me.' I could feel her eyes on my back as I walked out of the hotel room and down to Jack's a few doors down.

I knew all she was doing was looking out for me but I had to confront Jack about it. I had to get the truth about why he was with Jasmine out of him. At least if things went wrong, Jordan and Jess always had my back.

When I knocked on the door, I heard a giggle and Jasmine opened the door in her underwear. Jack was sat on the bed fully clothed (weirdly) looking like he'd done something wrong and smiled guiltily at me.

'Oh hey,' Jasmine said, smiling and pretending I hadn't walked in on what they were about to do. Well, it looked more like what Jasmine was going to do instead of Jack.

'Yeah, I just wanted to see if Jack wanted to come with us to the concert down at the bar.'

_What?_

'Jack?' Jasmine turned to face Jack who'd already got his jacket and slipped his shoes on. She spoke to him like he needed her permission to go.

'Yeah, I'll be back later tonight.' Jack replied, not even looking into her eyes or even facing her while he stepped out of the room. Jasmine sighed and closed the door on our faces.

Jack smiled again and we caught Jordan and Jess coming out of the room just as we walked past. As we walked to the stairs, Jess ran ahead to get to the bottom so she could text Liam and Jordan walked with Jack and I.

When he was looking away she raised her eyebrows at me and pointed at Jack,

'What the fuck's he doing here?' she whispered. I shrugged.

'I'm not letting this go over my head, twin. I wanna know what he's up to and I'm going to find out today.'

'This night is gonna be shit.' She replied and I glared at her.

'Look, I want this sorted out. You might think Jack's a dick; and he's definitely acting like one, but he's still one of my best friends.'

Jordan's frown turned into hurt. 'Just be careful, okay? If he's messing with Jasmine, god knows what could happen.'

'I'll be careful. If you sense anything, twin, just find me.' We linked our pinkie fingers and walked downstairs, hoping that the next few hours ahead were going to go smoothly.


	6. I'm Still Painting Flowers For You

**Okay guys, this is quite a long one because I didn't wanna leave you guys with a short chapter and a cliffhanger; there's a good chance I won't be uploading in a while. I see where I'm going with this but it's the fact that I (honestly) can't be bothered to write. So yeah, thanks for viewing guys, and REVIEW! :D xxx**

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><p>We grabbed a table nearest the door when we got down to the bar. It didn't really feel real, now that I could drink alcohol in America. Last time I checked, I was 15, waiting for the time to come where I could drink legally. Jess ordered us beers and both of the girls were being surprisingly nice to Jack who looked like he'd closed in on himself.<p>

Jordan sat down opposite Jack and I and started giving me looks which meant she wanted to give me and Jack time to talk things over. I mouthed 'later' at her and she nodded. I could feel the tension between Jack and Jordan, the feeling of her wanting to literally kill him. Jess didn't say anything; she wouldn't because she knew if she said anything to Jack, I'd get annoyed.

Jack used his phone as a distraction, trying to have a texting conversation with Alex who couldn't completely understand what Jack's intentions were. He never realised I was looking over his shoulder at the texts until he glanced at me. I look away guiltily and I saw him smile out of the corner of my eye.

'Okay, that's it Barakat.' I said bluntly, making Jordan and Jess jump yet Jack expecting it. He looked at me blankly and I raised my eyebrows. Without a word and a quick glance at Jordan, I walked out of the bar and onto the lawn that was and was overlooking the city. It was a cold night so the bar was packed inside yet dead outside. Jack followed me out, and followed my gaze to where I was looking which wasn't anywhere in particular.

Jack was breathing so heavily I could hear him over the loud, drunken laughing sounds that were coming from inside the bar. I could sense he knew exactly what I was going to ask him about and this time I was adamant that I would get the truth out of him. I looked back at the girls sat at the table just out of earshot and saw Jordan was looking at me wearily. I nodded at her and she went back to her conversation with Jess.

I turned back to Jack who did that cute smile that always made my heart melt. We stayed silent for a few moments before I opened my mouth.

'Jack, seriously what the hell is going on?' I asked him. He sighed and put away his phone and turned to face me.

'I've told you over and over again; nothing's going on.'

'You're lying.'

'I'm not!' I hissed through gritted teeth. I raised my eyebrow and crossed my arms.

'You are, Jack. You're my best friend and I know when you're lying and right now it has never been so obvious.' I replied. Jack put his hands on my arms and I let him unfold them.

'Come with me.' I let Jack slid his hands to clasp hold of my hands and pulled me away from the bar. I looked back at Jordan who's eyes widened with shock but she mouthed the words 'text me' before she disappeared from view. Before I knew it, Jack was leading back to his hotel room.

I stood outside Jack hotel door as he fumbled for the keys in his pocket, pulling out everything but the keys themselves. He started breathing heavily again as he tried and failed to get the keys into the door, missing the hole by a mile. His hands started to shake which made him worse. I had to do something.

'Hey, hey, Jack,' I said, squeezing his hand and taking the keys from him. 'Calm down.'

He stepped back and I let myself into the room which, for Jack, was surprisingly tidy. Jack stepped in like he'd never been in it before, curiously placing his bag on the table.

'Is Jasmine here?' I asked. When I didn't get a response, I turned to face Jack who shook his head and didn't say a word. I glanced at him but he looked away and blushed.

'Look Jack, why can't you just tell me what's going on? What's keeping you from it?' I asked him.

'Because it'll just fuck your life up again and I don't want to do that because I've already done it once.' He replied, making it sound like his fault which it wasn't... well, most of it wasn't.

'Jack, shut up. It was mainly me because of Alex and Jasmine and John. I'm not saying you didn't cause any of this because you're now back with Jasmine but—'

'What?' Jack interrupted.

'You're back with Jasmine.'

'I'm not back with Jasmine you donut.'

I looked back at Jack and my mouth dropped.

_So if he wasn't back with Jasmine then what was he doing with her?_

I went to open my mouth again but Jack pressed his finger to my lips. He gestured for me to sit down on the sofa so I did as I was told. Jack escaped to the room I assumed was his and I saw him fiddling around under his bed until he pulled out a small book will sticky labels and pieces of paper sticking out of it. He came back into the main room and handed me the book in his hand.

I looked at him and he looked at the book then back at me.

'Read it. Everything will make sense then. It starts from after you left.'

I stared at Jack, confused at what he was trying to say... until I started reading the book that was in fact a diary.

_Oh my god..._

It was his diary. I wanted to skim through the pages but Jack was watching me, knowing he wouldn't let me leave until I was done reading every word. Obviously, it wasn't every day and it was just once every couple of weeks but his feelings were painted on the page, so clearly for me to see.

'Jack I don't think I can read this.' I said to him, mid-sentence on the 12th page of his diary. He sat next to me and took the book away from me, flicking through a large portion of the pages and handing it back to me when he'd reached the page he was looking for.

_Shit._

It was the day Jack and I split up. He'd written all about it in his diary.

'Please, Chloe just read it. You need to know because I'm a wimp and I can't tell you myself.' Jack whimpered quietly.

_Tuesday, 19__th__ April_

_I've never been more of an idiot in my life. I made the worst mistake I could possibly ever make and now I've lost my girlfriend and my friends in the process. I invited Jasmine back on tour with us. Purely a reason to shut her up but another reason to show her it really was over. It just felt right when I asked Chloe out, but now it's just crumbling around me. And now that Jasmine has fucked us all over by telling everyone on tour what Chloe and Alex did, I'm truly screwed. The boys aren't talking to me, and even when they are, it's to yell at me. I'm a complete failure. But what made it worse was that Chloe cheated on me again with Alex. I mean, I can barely believe Jasmine but something's telling me it's true. Chloe's left now and she's gone to stay with The Maine, but I'm hoping she'll come back. I miss her so much and she means the world to me but we both made the wrong decisions. I thought that hopefully, it would make her see we really are so much alike and are meant to be together but obviously she hasn't seen it. I said to myself I'd get over her but now it's proving to be next to impossible. Anyway, Alex is coming and I don't want him to see my diary. No-one's ever read it before and I don't want now to be the time._

[JACK'S POV]

I just looked at her when she read but I glanced down every now and again to estimate where she was. Chloe was always the faster reader of us both so she was probably further down than I was. When she finished reading, she looked up at me with tear-filled eyes. I turned the corner of my mouth up, giving her an awkward smiled but I knew she wasn't believing me.

Without another word, I took my diary off of her again and flicked to the last time I'd written an entry in the diary... last night. She tried not to stare at the paper, but it was all too much.

'Move over.' I said softly, and she shifted in the middle of the sofa and patted the spot next to her for me to sit down. She sat cross-legged, on the sofa with my diary in her lap and I leaned over so I could read over her shoulder. With Chloe being in possession of all my thoughts and feelings, I felt like I was letting everything I've ever bottled up out. I couldn't decide whether it was good or bad. I read with her and slowly slipped my arm around her shoulders. Instantly, she slid into my arms and lifted her knees up, leaning against my body like a perfect fit.

_But she had Louis..._

I dismissed the thought from my mind and tried to concentrate on reading my own diary,

_Sunday, 13__th __April_

_There's not much I can say really. I've been denying it for all these years and now I finally admitted it to my last night... I still love Chloe._

When I read the words myself, I froze.


	7. Welcome To My Truth

I was obviously following her as she read because both our eyes locked on each other for a moment that seemed like forever. I stared into her tear stained eyes, as mine started to fill. I could sense that she was filled with worry, hate and relief. I knew she believed me now about Jasmine. How could I ever be with someone else when I still loved her?

It took all of the strength inside of me to stop myself from kissing her. I didn't want to screw up her relationship with Louis after I'd caused her so much pain. The tears started streaming down both of our faces and I pulled her harder into me.

'I'm so sorry, Jack.' She whispered in my ear, as I felt her tears soak into my Glamour Kills t-shirt.

'Sssh, it's okay. I'm sorry too.' I whispered back.

I wanted her so bad but she'd never leave Louis and she'd never cheat on him with me.

_Head telling me one thing, cock telling me another..._

I tried not to react to my thoughts and leaned closer to her. I waited for her to stop crying which seemed like ages and she turned so she was facing me.

'Please, Jack. I need to hear it from you now. What's really going on?' she squeaked.

I really didn't want to tell her. I mean, I was confused to why she couldn't understand what I was trying to say.

I sighed.

'I still love you. I still love everything about you and I was scared to admit it. I've loved you from day one, when I finally realised this feeling for you inside was more than just friendship. I'm not back with Jasmine; I never will be because she's a complete whore. I've been using her as a distraction to take my mind off of you.

I've been completely out of it since you left and I came back to England to tell you but I chickened out. That's why I was with Jasmine. She's just a tool, I promise you. I made the wrong decision when split up... and now it's too late.'

I felt like I was going to pass out any moment and Chloe just stared at me in disbelief. Did she believe me? Or did she just think that it was just another of my broken promises? She didn't give me any sign to express any emotion.

I opened my mouth to talk but it was interrupted by a voice that wasn't Chloe's.

Jasmine was back.

'Nice little relationship reunion going on in here, I see?' she slurred, making her way to the kitchen to get a drink. From where I was sat, I could smell the awful stench of beer and vodka seeping toward me and Chloe. She grimaced at the smell and sunk back down, curled up next to me like the times before.

'You've had enough alcohol for tonight I think, Jasmine. Don't you?' I said to her, eyeing the bottle of Gatorade she had in her hand. She just shook her head and downed one glass after another. She started to sway, barely able to keep her balance and nearly fell over. But yet, that didn't even stop her from finishing off the bottle.

I nudged Chloe and she moved away, sinking into the other side of the sofa. I got up and walked over to Jasmine, cautious and keeping my distance; I knew what she was like when she was drunk.

'Get away from me, Jack.' She murmured, using the empty bottle as a defence weapon.

'Jasmine put the bottle down.' I said slowly and calmly, moving with her arm. I never realised that Chloe was making her way to the door without a sound but Jasmine sensed the movement and snapped her head in the direction of Chloe.

'What?' Chloe sniffed, rubbing her nose with a tissue she'd picked up from the table, her nose red and her make-up running down her face. If Jasmine wasn't there, I would've pulled Chloe closer to me and stayed with her until she was feeling better. But Jasmine had become dangerous and someone was going to get hurt if she wasn't unarmed and fast.

'Jasmine put the bottle down,' I repeated. 'Now.'

'Make me.' She replied.

Before I could react, the bottle had been flung out of her hands and had shattered into hundreds of tiny pieces on the kitchen floor, a bit of the alcohol spreading. I would've tried to clear it up with Jasmine and Chloe weren't physically at each other's throats.

Chloe's hand was curled round Jasmine's throat and Jasmine had hold of Chloe by the arms, trying to pry her grip away from her. For a moment, I let Chloe strangle her, for all the trouble she caused, she deserved to suffer.

_But no-one should die over drama._

I stood between them both, taking Jasmine's arms and trying to get her to let go but she only held Chloe's arms harder, forcing Chloe to tighten the grip around Jasmine's throat.

Both of them stumbled and fell to the floor, Chloe landing on the glass and cutting her right ear on the glass. The clear liquid was now turning a pinkish colour and I started to panic. She didn't seem to react to the fact that now both her ear and neck were bleeding like hell and she was losing blood quickly. She still had her hands round Jasmine's throat and Jasmine started to get paler and paler.

'Chloe, stop! You have to stop now!' I yelled, and suddenly it was like she was back to reality again. Her eyes widened and she let go of Jasmine, who started gasping for air. Chloe crawled away, clutching her neck, like she'd only just felt the blood dripping down her neck.

This time, Jasmine lunged for her, picking up a large piece of glass and crawled to Chloe who didn't even move. She screamed at the top of her lungs when Jasmine reached her and she pulled her arm up in defence. The shard of glass slid down Chloe's arm smoothly, and the blood surfaced almost immediately. She screamed again and I took hold of Jasmine's arm and bent it back so she couldn't do any more damage. She screamed and dropped the glass and I pulled her away.

'Leave her alone!' I yelled in her face and Chloe looked at me frightened. She got up and grabbed a towel and walked out of the hotel room without another word. Jasmine grimaced at her bruising neck as I pulled my hand away from her back and she fell to the ground.

I ran out after Chloe as she walked down the hallway. Before she got to her hotel room door, I clutched her shoulder and spun her round so she was facing me.

'I should've never come back to yours, Jack. It was a stupid mistake.' She whispered, so quietly, I could only just hear her.

'No, it wasn't a stupid idea.' I argued, sliding my arms down her arms, being careful not to hurt her. She looked desperately into my eyes, and they filled with tears.

'Hey,' I said soothingly, 'don't cry on me again. It's okay.'

She burst into tears and fell into my arms. We both collapsed in the middle of the hallway outside her door. She made it worse for me, partially because she was just here and I wanted her so badly... not in that way... well yeah obviously, but she needed someone to be next to her.

Then I heard the words that I'd never expect to hear from her ever again.

'I still love you too, Jack.'


	8. Too Little Too Late

**Okay guys, here's the next chapter :] Hope you like it. I'm not a homophobe or anything, but I needed to... well, I'm not telling you because that would ruin the story xD Anyway, I've still got Anonymous reviews on so whoever reads these chapters, can you please review? :] Anyway, ENJOY!xxxxx**

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><p>[CHLOE'S POV]<p>

I didn't realise what I said until after the words came out of my mouth. I tried to let go of Jack's grip but he just held onto me harder. I stared at Jack, his dark brown eyes going shiny as they were covered in tears.

'J- Jack, I...' I stuttered. I wanted to take it back, really I did. I didn't want the drama anymore; the fact that if I got with Jack, I'd have to break it to Louis... but I wanted to be with Louis. He was kind, a sweet, and amazing...

_Enough with the soppy stuff, Chloe. Pull yourself together._

Jack placed his finger on my lips to stop me from talking. He took one look at my neck and got up to drag me to my hotel door. I forgot about the fact that my neck and ear was bleeding and was dripping onto my shirt. Well, looks like I'd have to get another Black Veil Brides t-shirt. I still had the towel that I'd taken from the room around my arm and the blood was soaking into the towel.

'Where are your keys?' he asked, and I handed him the keys that were in the back pocket of my jeans. When Jack turned to get the key in the door, Jasmine stumbled out of her hotel room and staggered down the hall after us.

'Jack, hurry up.' I whispered behind him.

He quickly got the keys in the door and pulled me into the room, slamming the door just in time to make sure that Jasmine didn't get in.

'Open the fucking door!' she yelled from the other side. Jack locked it and sat me down at the table. She kept continuously banging on the door and I was scared that she was going to knock it down. It finally quietened down after about 10 minutes when Jack started looking for things. He started looking through the cupboards for some kind of cleanser but I grabbed hold of his arm when he walked past me for the fifth time.

'Jack, just sit down. I'm fine.' I said.

'You're _bleeding_.'

'Jack, I'm fine. Please, just sit down.'

'At least let me clean it.'

'Okay, fine. There's a first aid kit in the top left cupboard.'

Jack reached for the kit in the cupboard then came back to the table and cleaned me up. I winced in pain every now and again and luckily there weren't any shards of glass in my skin. From what Jack told me, the cuts weren't deep but it looked like I wouldn't be swimming this holiday. He patched up my arm too and wrapped bandages around both my neck and arm area.

'I'm such an idiot.' I whimpered.

Jack slammed the blood stained towel on the table.

'Stop blaming yourself for all this! Don't you see? It was me! I should've never done any of this and then maybe I would've still been with you!' Jack yelled.

I stared at him with wide eyes and tried to stop myself from crying again. Ever since all of this crap happened, all I'd been doing was crying and I seriously needed to stop it. Even with the boys I couldn't stop myself from thinking about everything that happened. Right now, I really needed my twin.

Speaking of the devil, we both turned round in shock, thinking it was Jasmine when sounds were coming from the other side of the door, but it was Jordan coming through into the room. But it was Jordan and Jordan only. Where was Jess?

I looked at Jordan with that 'what the fuck' face and she shrugged and went sat down without a word, completely ignoring Jack.

'I'm going to... um... leave.' Jack said, finally breaking the silence and getting up. I rushed to get up with him and walked him to the door.

'Bye Jack. Can we talk later?' I asked him.

'Yeah, I'll text you.' he nodded. I hugged him hard, careful not to hurt my arm, and he left.

I shut the door and turned to Jordan who was just looking at me blankly.

'What?' I asked.

'You, my friend, are spilling _everything_.' She said.

_Not really a surprise... I was expecting it._

I perched next to her and faced her direction.

'Trust me; you're going to hate me after I tell you what I said to Jack.'

Jordan shifted uncomfortably, 'I have a feeling I already know what you're going to say.'

'I still love Jack. And I told him I did and now I don't know what to do and I don't know what to say to Louis and I don't know how I'm going to stop this. I'm just so angry with myself and now Jack might get the wrong impression but I love him and I feel like I always have.'

Jordan didn't seem surprised with what I said. Normally, she's never surprised at what I say because she thinks the exact same. This time was no different. She pulled me into a hug and held me tight until I'd stopped crying... again.

'Twin, it's okay. You've just gotta sit down and figure this out. You can get through this.'

'But, Jord, it's not like I'm worrying over family; it's boys. I shouldn't be doing this! I feel like I'm 15 again! I should be staying with one person, not flicking between two guys!' I cried. Jordan sighed, ready to put it to me straight.

'Listen, twin... I've wanted to tell this to you for ages and I could only do it when we were alone. But I think there's something going on between Niall and Louis.'

'You mean... relationship? They're not gay are they?' I said sceptically.

'No you moron! Niall and Louis have been arguing... over you.'

'Oh for god's sake, why couldn't they just leave it?'

'Wait, you knew?'

'Of course I knew, twin! Louis told me...' I said, quietly. 'I just don't know what to do anymore. I don't know whether I should be with Louis or Jack.'

'Well, who do you feel you want to be with?' she asked.

'I... well, I feel like I should be with Jack because I've known him for longer and we're best friends. But Louis' amazing and kind and I don't want to hurt him.'

_Sad git..._

We sat in silence, not knowing what to do when Jess came through the door, red eyed and her make-up strewn all down her face. I rushed to her and wrapped my arms around her, Jordan not too far behind.

'What's happened, Jess?' I asked, as she sniffed through a tissue that already looked worn.

'It's... it's Liam... and Louis... I just... oh god.' She said between the sniffing and the crying. Both Jordan and I looked at each other.

_No way... these bromances cannot be true... it was just something the fans though, wasn't it? It couldn't be true... not _Louis_._

'Please... no.' I started crying with Jess and Jordan had had enough and snatched the phone from Jess' hand and dialled Harry's number.

'_**Hello?'**_

'_Harry! It's Jordan, care to tell me what the fuck is going on over there?'_

'_**Oh, I take it Jess has told you and Chloe. I'm still in shock so bare with me.'**_

'_I don't care, Styles! You tell me right now!'_

'_**Fine, but put me on loud speaker.'**_

Jordan pressed the speaker button on Jess' phone and we could hear arguments in the background. I escorted Jess to her bedroom; I was sure that she didn't want to hear anymore after what she was told. When I shut the door, I joined Jordan back in the living room, preparing myself for the worst. She was talking to Louis... well, more like arguing.

'How could you do this to her Louis? I thought you loved her! And after all this time, when you said you loved her, you really liked Liam? Sort yourself out Louis! She's gonna be in pieces when she finds out! When I get home, you're so dead. Oh she's here, wanna talk to her now?'

Jordan yelled down the phone, giving me and probably even Louis a headache. He extended her arm and handed me Jess' phone. I started shaking, and to be honest, I didn't want to talk to him right now.

I put the phone to my ear and waited for the worst...

'_I'm so sorry Chloe, I never meant to do this to you. I just... didn't know.'_

I didn't even want to hear it from him. Not after everything that I'd been through, he was just being selfish and I started to hate him.

'I hate you!' It was a mixture of tears and anger when I screamed down the phone at him. I wasn't sure if he deserved it or not. A part of me said he deserved it but then the other part said that he couldn't help his feelings.

I always thought when I read about people being in denial, it was just another of those things.

I never thought it would happen to me.


	9. When It All Comes Down

The argument seemed to drag on for ages and everything that Louis told me became even more of a reason to get back with Jack. But then he told me something I never thought I'd hear from him...

'_**But I like Harry too. But you cannot tell Jordan! Liam was... a one night stand and I'm sorry! But it's Harry. It's everything about him, Chloe. I want to be with him but Jordan loves him and she has a kid with him. I just... I'm as confused as you.'**_

I just stared at Jordan with tears trickling down my face and sobbing quietly.

_She had no idea..._

What Louis was telling me was going to kill both Jordan and I. Louis was willing to ruin everything we ever had, everything anyone else had because of his feelings going overboard. How could he be so selfish? He's doing all of this... basically dumping me and getting Harry to dump Jordan, not to mention splitting Jess and Liam up. Jess had escaped to her room to avoid listening to everything that was going to be said and Jordan followed not long after.

I peered through the crack in the door to see Jordan trying to comfort Jess as she cried hysterically.

'Why have you got to do this to me, Louis? Not just me; everyone. Why did you tell me you loved me when you loved Harry instead?' I asked him, trying not to break down in tears. Louis sniffed from the end of the other line. I waited for a response, but I just got heavy breathing.

'What are we doing, Louis?' I asked. It was meant to be a rhetorical question, yet Louis insisted on answering it... with the most predictable answer.

'_**I don't know.'**_

I tried not to cry too much, knowing Jordan would sense it and come running.

'_**Are you gonna tell Jordan?'**_ Louis asked.

'Do I really have a choice, Louis? She can't go living with someone who's in love with their best friend! I'm not the one this needs to be discussed with. I think this needs to be passed onto Jordan and Harry. I'm not talking about it anymore. If we're over, say it.' I said, choking on the last two words.

Louis stayed silent until I'd had enough.

'Jordan!' I yelled through the crack of the door. She ran into the room and straight into my outstretched arm holding Jess' phone.

'Take it now. I don't want to hear any more.' I said calmly.

Jordan took the phone and pressed it to her ear.

As the minutes passed, Jordan broke down the more she spoke to Harry. I sat and tried to comfort her; I was the only one who could just barely stay together.

'Harry, we have a kid! You can't just leave us like that! What about everything back home? What about the band? Why are you being so selfish?' she cried down the phone. I rubbed her back to sooth her but nothing would calm her down but prevent her hysterical fits she was having.

'But what about Jay? What happened to 'stay together no matter what? So are the whole of One Direction just going to leave us?'

The thought of the possibility made me feel sick to my stomach. Words couldn't explain how awful I felt about the whole situation. After everything I'd been through and they come and drop a bombshell like this. I didn't know if I could cope anymore with the pain I'd been suffering from.

I couldn't hear exactly what Harry was saying to Jordan but all I could tell was that he was on about letting Jordan keep Jay and let Harry visit then once in a while.

_This could not be happening..._

Before Jordan threw something, I snatched the phone away from her and got ready to rant to Louis with I realised he'd passed it to Niall.

'Hey Louis, listen to—'

'_**It's Niall.'**_ He said from the other end.

'Oh, hey Nialler. Are you okay?'

_Stupid question to ask, Chloe._

'_**I think I could ask you the same question.' **_His soft, Irish accent made me want to fly back to England and just snuggle up to him. Sad, I know, but that was how I was feeling right now. Not in that way, but still, Niall was being affected and Zayn was nowhere to be seen again like Louis had told me.

'_**I... I'm alright. Can you go somewhere quiet for a bit? Like, away from Jordan and Jess?'**_ he asked, breaking me away from my thoughts.

'Yeah, give me a minute.' I mouthed to Jordan and she knew exactly what I was one about although she couldn't lip read for shit. Jordan retreated back to a sobbing Jess and I closed the door.

I sat down on the sofa and got ready for what Niall was going to say. He coughed and cleared his throat before speaking.

'_**Okay, seeing as everything is coming out today, I wanted to tell you something. I—'**_

'Please don't say it Niall,' I interrupted, 'I know what you're going to say but please. I've had too much drama these past few years and I'm confused and scared and unhappy and...'

'_**And what?'**_

'I'm still in love with Jack.'

There was a silence from the other end; it didn't even seem like he was breathing. Why did I say such stupid things?

'Nialler?' I asked cautiously. He grunted. 'Nialler, talk to me.'

I tried using his nickname but he refused to say anything. I sighed and walked to the bed room Jordan and Jess were in.

'_**Chloe?' **_Niall whispered finally. I span round and took my seat on the sofa again.

'Yeah?' I replied.

'_**I didn't want a relationship or anything. I just wanted to make sure we would still be as close as we are now.'**_

'Well, yeah. I'm not going to fall out with you because of... how you feel.'

'_**Oh well, okay then. Louis wants to speak to you.'**_

I groaned. What did he have to say now? There were some noises then I heard his voice that used to make my knees turn to jelly and used to make my heart melt. Now, it just made my emotions rocked sky high in the wrong direction... haha, oh the irony.

'_**Hello?'**_

'What, Louis?' I said bluntly.

'_**Superman.'**_

I couldn't help but laugh at that.

'_**Made you laugh. Look, I'm sorry, but can we at least not have the "I'm-never-talking-to-my-ex-again-because-he's-a-prick" situation? I still love you but...'**_ he trailed off.

'You love Harry too.' I finished.

'_**Yeah. I know it was selfish of me but... oh I'll speak to you later.'**_

Then he suddenly put the phone down. It literally felt like the whole world was crashing down, and I didn't care whether it sounded dramatic or not, it was happening.

There was only one person I could go to now that would understand me and know what to do.

I dropped the phone on the table and called after Jordan,

'Twin, I'm going out!'


	10. Heartburn

**I am SO sorry I haven't posted in nearly 3 weeks, I just haven't had the time. I've had a bunch of homework and assignments to catch up with but I've written quite a long one for you guys :3 I'd really appreciate it if whoever reads this would please review the chapter on what you think should happen next and what I should change/scrap! Thanks again and I'll try and upload more frequently (: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

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><p>I didn't get a response from Jordan; maybe because she didn't hear me or that she was too busy trying to stop Jess from doing something like killing herself. I grabbed my set of keys to the hotel room and my phone that was lying on the side of the table and headed out of the door and down the hall. Halfway down the hallway, I made the best attempt of wiping my make-up off of my face to make it look like I hadn't been crying non-stop.<p>

When I arrived at the door near the end of the corridor, I took a deep breath and knocked on the door.

Again, Jasmine answered the door in only her night clothes and I stared at her. She was paler than usual, probably because of all the drinking she'd consumed, but she didn't bother to come up with any stupid remark.

'Yes?' she whispered.

'Is Jack in?' I asked, peeking into the hotel room they were staying in. Jasmine moved so that she was blocking the way of my sight.

'No, he's not. But he won't be long so you can come in until he's back.' She replied.

_Did she seriously just say that?_

'Umm, thanks.' I muttered, unsure of how to respond to Jasmine's sudden nice comment. She stepped out of the way and let me in, going back to her original place of sitting at the table, downing tablet after tablet of aspirin to stop her headache. She'd seemed to have sobered down a bit after her sudden outburst of anger and violence earlier.

I sat on the sofa awkwardly; waiting impatiently and hoping Jack would hurry up and come in before it became even more awkward.

Jasmine was sat at the table, still falling into the trap of alcohol. I didn't dare ask her why in case she started up on one of her antics like earlier. Her face was about as pale as the cream white paper that decorated the walls of the hotel room. Every noise and movement I seemed to pick up on; my paranoia was going into overdrive. I sat on the sofa, stiff and still just to make sure that I definitely wasn't going to do anything wrong... like punch Jasmine in the face for cutting up my arm like a deranged animal.

I glared at her constantly without breaking my stare and secretly planned her death in my head. With that, we both jumped when there was a rustling of keys behind the hotel door and Jack revealed himself to us both.

'Chloe?' Jack looked shocked to see me for the second time tonight and already my eyes started to fill with tears. I tried to hold them back but I couldn't.

'I'll... um... leave.' Jasmine gestured to the door and walked out, alcohol in her grasp, leaving both I and Jack alone... together... in a room... oh dear.

Tears trickled down my cheek and I cried silently before Jack ran over and wrapped his arms around me tightly. I leaned into his embrace a continued crying softly. He was warm, which meant he'd been outside in the evening sun, and his body warmed up mine. I wanted to curl in closer, just like when we were dating.

'Hey, hey, calm down.' Jack whispered through my sobbing, rubbing my back in an attempt to sooth me. I reduced myself to nothing; barely breathing and barely able to keep my eyes open.

'I don't know what to do, Jack. My life's so fucked up... everything that happened was... just,' I whimpered.

I was probably bringing him down further than I already had in the past few years. I tried to choke out words and say at least something, but my throat just closed up and my muscles just froze so all I could do was sit there.

I started to feel cold. Like dead kind of cold.

'Hey, Chloe?' Jack said, breaking the silence.

'Yeah?' I sniffed in reply.

'Tell me everything from the beginning.'

_I knew this was coming._

Jack was always an agony uncle kind of guy when it came down to other people's relationships; another similarity we both shared. However, neither of us could apply it to our own lives.

I shifted my position so I was facing Jack, still keeping hold of his hand, somehow convincing myself that holding some part of him (not like that you immature people) would keep me warm.

'For the past three years, my life has just been unbearable. The fact that I lost you as a friend, and when I lost...' – I choked – 'John, I felt like I couldn't do anything right. This holiday was supposed to be a way of forgetting everything that happened and moving on. I knew that somehow John was still with me in a way – there were signs – but I still feel alone. Now that Louis and Niall have dropped catastrophic bombshell on me, I just don't know what to do anymore.

'The fact that they feel that way doesn't bother me, it's the fact they were shallow enough to keep it from me. They told me over the phone, Jack. Not face to face, on the phone. And that hurt me a lot more than anyone else might think. Jordan's too busy with Jess right now and I was fine with that, and when I thought of someone to go to, I just thought of you.'

Jack smiled at the thought of me thinking of him first, but really, he shouldn't have been surprised. Jack's grip on my hand got tighter and when he realised he'd been holding it too tight by the look on my face, he let go, rubbing his hand on his shirt.

'What was this thing that Louis and Niall said then?' he finally said, breaking the silence.

I didn't want to say it. I didn't want to tell anyone about it, even though both Jess and Jordan knew. I wanted to keep it to myself, but bottling it up was not the way to do it, as I had been told from the months of counselling I'd had when I was 14.

'Niall told me he loved me and Louis had a one night stand with Liam but decided he wanted to get with Harry. It completely messed up all of our relationships. Jess is awfully upset because of Liam and Jordan is...' thinking about Jordan's pain always came back on me. Like we had some kind of telepathy and felt the exact same things. 'Jordan's destroyed. Emotionally and physically and I don't know what to do.'

Jack stared in recognition, but it wasn't like he knew what we were all experiencing.

'What are you going to do, Clo?'

'I don't know, Jack. I really don't know. I've been flitting between boys these few years. I feel selfish. I got with you, shit happened, we broke up. I got with John, he... died, and I got myself in a terrible state then thought that John was telling me to get with Louis so I did. Now Louis' got with Harry and left me, I'm here picking up the pieces and I'm back to square one again.'

I suddenly felt a cold wind whip around my body, like John was there again. Only this time, I had no idea what he wanted. Was it even John? Or was I just being paranoid and were my senses just enhanced after I'd been shaken up?

I turned away from his face, unable that if I looked into his eyes I'd fall for him all over again like I had before. Even though his presence made my stomach flip constantly and I was unable to breathe whilst I could hear his breath.

Then out of the blue Jack mentioned something that was the most inappropriate timing ever.

'I want to be with you again.'

I snapped my head around again and looked straight into his eyes. 'We can't, Jack!'

'Why not?'

'Because I'm scared that everything will happen again and I'll lose you. Maybe more than just as a boyfriend again, and I'll lose you forever.' Don't get me wrong, I sounded like a complete nonce but I couldn't put it in any other words.

He was my _best friend_. I could never risk our friendship for love again. Did he not understand that? Had he not learned from the last time?

'You're not actually being serious Jack? After last time you still have the balls to ask if I want you back?' I squeaked.

My inability to stay still got the better of me as I stumbled from my seat opposite and nearly lost my balance. I started walking away from him. 'I'm sorry Jack but I can't. I have to go. Now. I can't do this anymore.'

I went to open the door but I clashed with Jasmine and her awful stench of alcohol drenched breath and knocked another of her bottles to the floor.

'Jesus Chloe! Watch where you're going.' She slurred, staring at the bottle of vodka like it was a piece of broken jewellery.

I didn't bother to apologise or even turn to face Jack while is ran back to the hotel room. I heard his name ring in my ears and his voice slowly fade away.

I used the key I'd taken earlier and silently but quickly let myself into the apartment. Everything was quiet, which either meant Jordan and Jess were out or they'd fallen asleep.

Just to make sure that what I was thinking was true, I checked in the room I'd last seen them and sure enough they'd both fallen asleep on the bed. The covers were still damp and I could see the different shades of dark and light blue contrasting with each other.

I moved and shut the door, making sure they didn't wake up and with that, I grabbed my stuff from my room and shoved them roughly into my suitcase. I started heading out of the door where I was surprised to see it was empty, meaning not Jack stopping me. Speaking of the devil, he opened the hotel door and saw me, his eyes widening. I gasped and choked and started running down the hallway, dragging my bag behind me. Then, I Googled when the next flight from New York to Heathrow left.


	11. Old Friends

**Just to reassure you guys, the following characters involved are not going to be another storyline, I just wanted to write about a different band. It was a bit of a fill-in chapter so yeah. Thanks :3 xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

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><p>I was having second thoughts about the flight. I hadn't booked it yet but I still had the flight bookmarked on my phone. Instead, I was sat in the booth of the nearest Starbucks sipping a hot chocolate. I stared at the wallpaper on my phone; a dazzling picture of Ryan Reynolds in a white shirt and jeans. His arms were toned and muscular and the lighting made him look even more fabulous.<p>

'Why can't things just figure it out for themselves? Why am I the one always picking up the pieces?' I said to the wallpaper.

'Because life wouldn't be entertaining if you didn't.'

The familiar Milwaukee accent in his voice echoed through my head. I spun round at the booth to see his bright blue eyes, messy black hair, a ridiculous amount of make-up and most of all; his warm smile.

'Andy!' I shrieked, causing people to turn and stare at my sudden outburst after my 30 minutes of being silent.

I threw my arms around his lanky neck; stretching to just about reach him... he was too tall. His 6 foot 2 body laced into mine into the recognizable warm embrace I always remembered. I'd known Andy since I was born when my mom met his mom in the hospital where I was born. I was born in New York, but I still considered myself English after my mom and my dad were English.

'How's it going?' he asked me after we both pulled away. I gestured for him to sit with me at the booth so he took a seat opposite me. Andy was a dearest friend of mine even though we hadn't spoken for a fair few years.

'It's... bearable.' I said.

I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. I gripped the hot chocolate cup that wasn't so hot anymore and Andy took my hands.

'Hey, what's up? You could've called me, y'know. I would've been able to help you.'

'It's more complicated than that, Andy. So much has happened; I can't even begin to explain...' Andy cut me off.

'Hey hey hey, take it one step at a time, C. I've got time.' he glanced at his watch and looked at me. I took a deep breath and told him everything; every little detail and every memory I could bring up. Andy looked at me with great intensity and as I got to each climax, his hands squeezed harder on mine.

When I finished, it was close to 11pm. Jeez, everything had gone by so fast.

'... Hey, C. Wake up, I was talking to you. You clearly haven't worked on your listening skills whilst I've been away.' Andy brought me back to reality and I snapped into place again.

'Sorry, what?'

'I said, I think you should talk it over with Jack. I can tell you still like him. There's no point in saying that you don't because you're not helping yourself. C?'

I wasn't listening again.

'C!' Andy shook my hands.

'Sorry.' I mumbled.

'So, what are your plans? Why are you out here? Where are you going? Too many questions?'

I nodded.

'Sorry.'

'Don't be. To answer your question, I was on my way back to England when you ran into me.'

The lead singer of Black Veil Brides raised an eyebrow at me and then his eyes went wide with shock.

'On your _own?_ How were you getting back?'

'I have money on me and yes on my own. I don't want anyone coming with me. And I'm not adding you into the equation so don't think you're staying.'

I didn't mean to be that hurtful but it was what I wanted. I didn't want to get Andy involved in the shit I'd been going through.

'I'm coming with you if it means that you won't be in danger.'

'Andy, I'm not in any danger.'

'You're in danger of yourself, C.' I'd never thought of it that way before. 'I've seen this in you before; you seriously think that I don't know what you're like?'

I sniffed and sighed. Andy always knew the right things to say. I looked straight into his eyes,

'Andy, I'm fine. Nothing's going to happen like before. I promise you, I'll be fine.' I said.

He hung his head and took a deep breath, like he was getting frustrated. 'Okay but at least stay with me and take the next flight in the morning. I don't like knowing that you're in danger when it's nearly 11:30 at night.'

I nodded. I mean, he had a fair point and he was very protective of me, even though we hadn't seen each other for years.

'Okay.'

We both got up and he waited for me to pay for my drink. I followed him out and round to where he was parked. There was a huge tour bus parked with fans in black make-up just like Andy's crowded round the bus. I swear I heard Andy sigh but we walked forward, hand in hand.

'Make sure you go straight in while I distract the fans, okay?' he whispered in my ear. I mouthed okay and it seemed like the fans parted for me and they were all staring as I passed them.

I opened the door to the tour bus and the screaming fans slowly died away. I stood on the stairs until Andy joined me.

'You can go up y'know. The fans have gone and the boys won't bite.'

I smiled warmly at Andy and he urged me to continue up the stairs. I stared in awe, mouth agape, at the extremely large bus decor and the fact that is was so clean, I was considering I'd been captures by aliens. Black Veil Brides were never tidy.

'Whoa, this is a nice place.' I said.

Jake, CC, Jinxx and Ashley all turned their heads to face me.

'Hey, C!' Jake shouted, nearly deafening me. He was so loud. CC, Jinxx and Ashley all echoed Jake. Andy came up behind me and put his hands on my shoulders in reassurance, knowing either of the 4 of them were going to ask me 'how I was.'

'C's staying with us tonight guys. There's a spare bunk isn't there?' Andy directed at any of them, mainly at CC who always knew the ins and outs of the bus.

'Yeah, it's the one above mine. But you might have to deal with my snoring. Unless you want to swap with someone.' CC said.

I shook my head. 'No it's fine, don't worry.'

I could feel Andy's eyes on my back, as he squeezed harder on my shoulders. I turned to face Andy and (as usual) looked up and into his bright icy blue eyes.

'Thanks, Andy.'

He smiled back in a 'you're welcome' kind of smile and I collapsed in his arms, emotionally and physically tired out after the day's events.


	12. Back to Black

'This is not a fucking guilt trip!' I hissed down the phone. From the other end of the line I heard a frustrated sigh.

'_**You can't just go running off because we're all being affected! It's not just you!'**_ Jess shouted. Obviously, she and Jordan were still awake at 3:00am but I was sat in the bunk above CC's whispering to make sure that I didn't wake any of them up. That alone made me feel like I was losing the battle already. I could hear CC snoring calmly underneath me, but at the moment I was so annoyed that I wanted to smack my foot against the roof of his bunk. I ignored mostly all noises from the bus; the boys were naturally noisy so it didn't really make me jumpy.

Her voice rung through my ears and it made me want to hang up and cry myself to sleep.

'I'm the one dealing with the brunt of this! You're fine; you've only got to deal with a break-up! I have to deal with a break-up, the death of John, the fact I'm still in love with Jack and the pressure you're putting on me!'

'_**Look, I don't want to argue with you, but please. Just come back to the hotel and we'll sort this out.'**_

'No, I'm sorry.' I hung up. Frustration was the first word to come to mind when I finally had a chance to think. So many questions were swimming around in my head and it was unbearable. I had no idea what to do this time. However, I definitely was not going back to the hotel and that was something I'd definitely decided on.

'Hey, you okay?' I heard one of the boys' voices from outside the bunk I was sleeping in. At first, I thought he was talking to someone else but when he pulled back the curtain, falling victim to my icy blue eyes that tears were falling from, clearly, CC was talking to me. 'I heard you talking to someone. And you were making quite a lot of movement.'

'Did I wake you? Oh crap CC, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to.'

He laughed slightly. 'Hey, don't worry about it.'

I leaned out of the bunk and looked into the darkness that surrounded us both, hoping to find an answer. Stupid thoughts. CC's dark brown eyes stared at me, like he understood.

'Is Andy awake?' I asked.

'Nope. Just me.' he replied. I jumped off of the edge and stood opposite him. Well, I was squashed into him because of the lack of width of their bus. 'I hope I'll be an okay agony uncle,' He gestured me to the table and we both sat opposite each other. 'So, what's up?'

I was used to people getting straight to the point. I'd been open to it all my life. I sighed, 'I don't know what to do. I was planning on going back home but then Andy saw me and told me to come here. How much of the argument did you hear?' I explained.

'I heard enough to know what was going on. I think you should go back to your friends. They need you just as much as you need them. Because your boyfriend or ex-boyfriend is gay doesn't mean you should be angry at him forever no matter how much pain you and your friends have been through.'

The guy had a point. 'So I guess Andy told you lot then.'

CC nodded. 'When you collapsed Andy took you to bed and told us the situation. He wanted to make sure that we didn't ask you any questions that made you uncomfortable or made you need to say something that you didn't really want to say.'

Even though CC's extremely good encouraging made me sway a little, I was still certain on being my usual stubborn self and do what I initially planned to do.

'I can't go back, CC. Really, I can't. I don't want to face Jess' hysterics and Jordan's yelling because that's what I would do if I ran off like I did. CC nodded again.

'Well, if that's where you want to go, we'll drive you to the airport when the next flight is due to leave. Andy doesn't want to leave you alone for a second.'

'He was always like that when we were kids. Whenever we played out in the road he'd always be the one to pull me back in case I got run over. Considering there were no cars coming when he did it, I don't even know why he tried...'

'Because he was paranoid. Just like your friends. I'm not going to be able to sway you am I?' he joked. I shook my head dramatically and giggled.

'Thanks, CC. Really. You don't know how it's helped me. I _will _figure this out.'

'Go to bed. You look really sleep deprived.'

I wasn't in the mood to argue so I nodded and climbed into the bunk above CC's. CC went to the bathroom before retreating back to his spot underneath me and closed his curtains. When I was remotely sure he'd fallen asleep, I pulled out my phone and punched in my Twin's number.

'_**Hello?' **_She croaked, sounding sleepier than usual.

'Twin, it's me.' She instantly coughed and her voice sounded much more alive; not comparing that she sounded like a zombie, but it was 2:30 in the morning.

'_**Oh my god, Twin. Where are you? Are you okay? Why did you run? Why didn't you tell me? Are you coming back?'**_

'Twin, calm down, I'm fine. I'm with a friend and I'm going home. I... I need space for a bit. But I'll be fine. I'm not suicidal or anything. Honestly, if I wasn't fine, you'd sense it.'

Jordan hummed in agreement. '_**But seriously, we're all worried about you. Who are you with?'**_

I could hear the panic slowly decrease in her voice, but she was still panting with breath. I'm so stupid.

'I'm with Black Veil Brides. Well, I'm with them, but they're all asleep.' I said.

'_**Couldn't imagine why.' **_She said bluntly.

My head started spinning and I felt lighted headed, like I'd just downed a bottle of vodka. I found it hard t concentrate of what Jordan was saying and the words she was speaking soon started to become a visual mosaic in front of me. It was like she was speaking in a different language, and all I could do was predict what she was saying. That says a lot for what I do in my French lessons.

'Okay twin, I have to go now. I'm knackered and I really need to give my head a rest. I'll speak to you in the morning.'

_**Okay, Twin. It's good to know you're okay. I love you. But not in the lesbian kind of way, okay?'**_

I laughed. 'Okay, love you too.' I hung up and tucked my phone into the back pocket of my jeans which were lying untidily at the end of the bunk. I heard a slight thud and nearly crapped myself.

'Hey, I said go to sleep.'

'Calm down, CC, I'm going.' My hiss turned into a girlish giggle.

'Okay, I believe you. Goodnight.' He whispered.

'Goodnight.'

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><p><strong>REVIEW MY STORY YOU MEAN PEOPLE. I know you read it, so please review!xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx<strong>


	13. Searching

**[JACK'S POV]**

I sat with my head in my hands, my mind filled with thoughts and my head spinning. Chloe had run off and god knows what she was going to do. Maybe go back to Louis, or maybe just... I didn't know what to think. I'd made such a mess of everything. When I thought about it, it was me that caused all of this. If Jasmine had never of got involved, none of this would've happened. But then again, no-one would have known about Alex and Chloe. I suppose it was a burden off of both of our shoulders.

I was about to grab my coat when the lock on the door turned and Jasmine walked into the hotel room, looking the best she ever could whilst drunk. She was a serious turn off. I started questioning why I even dated her but she interrupted my thoughts.

'You look a bit stressed.'

'Funny that is. All you can think about it alcohol and I'm sat here considering actual dilemmas.'

'Alright calm down I was only telling you.' she stumbled her way to the kitchen table where she nearly always sat since we'd got here.

'No need to state the obvious though, do you?' I spat.

'I've had enough of your shit, Jack.'

That did it. 'My shit? _My _shit? I've put up with you for years! Ever since that day we met, I thought you were something special, Jasmine! Every since the day we kissed I thought you'd be the One but now I can't stand the sight of you! There's only one person I've ever truly loved in my life, whether it's true love or just friendship and that's definitely not you! I've been more than patient with your slaggy antics and your scheming ways but I've had enough!' I yelled.

She stumbled back like the words had physically hit her. She still tried to keep a firm, smug look on her face but she was still filled with terror. 'And who is this person, Jack? That you love so dearly? That you'd go running after? Because at the moment she really needs you and you need her.'

My eyes widened. Was Jasmine having a sudden change of heart? Jasmine turned to face me again after pouring herself a glass of water.

'I know I've been used, Jack. I know I've always been used since we split up. But I'm not running from myself anymore and I'm not after you. Sarah got her revenge and I got mine so I have no reason to be here anymore. Just go after the girl you love, Jack because when you'll want her again, she'll be gone and you'll never get her back.' She sniffed and walked up to me, meeting my eyes, her face inches from mine. 'When I mean go, Jack, I mean now. Go!'

When the words reached my ears I leaned over and grabbed my coat and ran out of the door, not bothering to look back on the mistakes I made and headed straight for Jordan and Jess' hotel room.

I hesitated at the door, but brought myself to knock. Jordan instantly opened the door and stared me in the face.

'I was wondering when you showed up.' She said.

'Now's not really the time is it, Jordan?' She glared at me and then stood aside so I could go in. I could imagine Chloe's voice now saying what an inappropriate time it was to be bickering. I walked awkwardly into the hotel room and I could already sense the tension. Jess was sat on the sofa with a crumpled tissue in her hand. In front of her sat a whole box of them. I tried to smile at her but she just shot me a glare and grunted.

'Sit down, Jack.' Jordan said from behind me. I turned to face her, but she'd pulled up a chair and sat near Jess. She gestured for me to sit down, so I took the seat although I sat with distance between Jess and I. I stared at Jordan and when she looked at me I quickly looked away.

Jess broke through the silence. 'What are we going to do?'

'I... I got a call from Chloe after you called her, Jess.' Jordan said. I sat there and felt like I couldn't say anything because Chloe hadn't contacted me within the 4 hours since I last saw her.

Jess interrupted my thoughts, 'what did she say?'

'She's not coming back.'

The words came out of her mouth and penetrated my heart like I'd just been stabbed multiple times. I just about managed to speak in between trying to breathe.

'She... she what?' I stuttered. Jordan turned and glared at me.

'She's not coming back, Jack! She's gone. And I don't know where.' Jordan started to cry but I didn't want to go anywhere near her in case she lashed out or something. She stole some of Jess' tissues from in front of her and weeped into them. I knew how it felt to lose someone so close to you.

'We should find her. We don't know what could happen to her or what she'll do.' I suggested. Jordan's head snapped up.

'Jack, she's not suicidal! How could think think such a thing? I have a feeling she's going to be okay...'

'... and you should always trust Jordan's instincts regarding her Twin.' Jess chimed in.

I was fidgeting in my seat. How could the girls just sit here and talk about finding her when they weren't doing anything about it? I needed to get out there and find Chloe before she left for England. I needed to find her before she did something stupid and I was convinced it was possible no matter what the girls said.

'We need to get out there guys.' I blurted, speaking my thoughts.

'And where do you suppose we go, Jack? Where do we start? We have no idea where she is and all she told me was that she was with Black Veil Brides.' Jess said.

Then Jordan's head snapped up again for about the 5th time that night. 'Black Veil Brides are in New York right now so she's not far. I swear their tour dates were in my Kerrang Magazine.' She flicked through the magazine that was sat on the table by the sofa and found the page advertising Black Veil Brides' tour. 'There it is.'

She moved the magazine round so both Jess and I could see and I smiled. 'She's not too far. We can get there in time if I drive but we're gonna have to hurry.' I said to her.

Jordan and Jess nodded in unison and we all made our way to the lobby. We all piled into my Audi (classy, I know) and I started the engine. It spluttered a bit but started humming smoothly as we set off to find Chloe. We were silent the whole journey in the car and it didn't sound like anyone was evening breathing. Both of the girls sat in the back and I could feel their eyes flicking from me to their phones, Chloe's number going straight to voicemail.

I kept my eyes on the road, hoping that we would get there faster and avoiding any sort of stupid thoughts that tried to sneak up on me. Although none of us had any idea where we were supposed to be going but something inside of me was saying that I needed to go to the Starbucks. I didn't know whether I was right or why my brain was telling me that but all I could do was find out. I thought that Jordan would've had some kind of lead, seeing as she called herself the twin of Chloe.

I snapped out of my daydream and we pulled up outside the Starbucks, hoping to find her with the boys from Black Veil Brides. Unfortunately, it was dead. There were a few cars, but they belonged to the kids that worked there and there was no sign of any tour bus.

I sighed. I was never going to find her.


	14. Forget About It

**[CHLOE'S POV]**

When we came to the airport, I had a sudden feeling of regret and guilt washing over me. For some reason, I didn't want to run away and I didn't want to leave everyone. Knowing Jack, he was probably paranoid that I was going to jump off the Brooklyn Bridge or something. I was sat nervously between Jinxx and CC who both had their arms around me like I was going into my first exam of the school term, not leaving my best friend, the guy I loved and all of my other friends. When the bus came to a halt, I could feel my heart in my throat and the blood pulsing through my body.

I didn't want to leave. But I couldn't go back, could I? No, I couldn't go back and face all of the crap I'd been facing for three years. Jack couldn't expect me to get back with him after what happened before. Of course I blamed him, how could I not? But I knew it was also my fault and I contributed to the situation. And what made it worse was that I could have stopped John from dying if I'd have just listened to Jasmine. But she was just a compulsive liar, how could anyone have expected me to believe her after everything she'd done to Jack and me? Not to mention starting on Alex on tour then Lisa witnessing it. She'd caused so much shit maybe it was just John's time to die... NO. I would never think of it like that. Everyone accepted that I still loved John no matter what and I said before I wanted to stay with Louis but now that he'd come out, I really didn't know what I wanted anymore.

CC pulled me out of my thoughts and tugged at me on the arm and I instantly stood up. But when I got to grips with what I was doing, just running away from everything, my knees gave way and I collapsed on the ground but luckily I still had consciousness. My heart was still racing a gazillion times a minute and I started panicking again. CC pulled me into his grip and I used him as support to try and gain my balance again. I nodded at him in thanks and he smiled back at me. The rest of the boys stayed quiet but I wanted them to talk. I didn't want it to feel like someone else's funeral.

'Are you sure you want to go through with this C?' Andy asked, breaking the silence. All 5 pairs of eyes turned to me and looked at me with intense concentration. My head was screaming at me to turn back round and go to the girls and Jack. But I just couldn't.

I nodded. 'Yeah, I totally want to do this. Thank you all so much for helping me with this. I know I'm a total wreck, but I think I might be able to pull through.'

The boys' smiled warmed me right to the core. They all gave me a big hug that made me fit into life somewhere and when they pulled away, I felt lonely again. Andy had my bags and he escorted me to the check-in desk. The boys didn't follow us and instead they stayed outside.

After I checked in, Andy put my bags down and went to say goodbye. 'It was nice seeing you again, C. I'm still gonna miss you like hell though.'

I sniffed and tried to stifle a sob that I could feel coming. 'I'm gonna miss you too. Thanks for everything Andy and the boys helped a lot too.'

He pulled me into a memorable hug and I couldn't bear it any longer; the tears flowed like a stream and landed in pools on my jumper and I sobbed loudly. Andy tried to sooth me but it wasn't any good.

I'd made a bad decision. I saw from over Andy's shoulder (which was a surprise) to see the guys getting impatient and walking around. I sighed.

'Andy, you'd better go. The boys are getting impatient. I've gotta go in now.' I snivelled.

Andy pulled away slowly, and he saw my red eyes from all the crying. He cupped my face in his hands and said, 'everything is going to work out in the end.'

He kissed my forehead, hugged me a second time and backed away. I could see him getting smaller and smaller. I was on my own once again. Little did I know that that wouldn't last much longer.

I dragged my suitcases through the departure lounge and sat down in the nearest coffee shop when I heard familiar voices from behind me. I tried to ignore them but I knew something about them was familiar. I sat stiff, like I was in some kind of horror movie waiting to die from some psycho with an axe hovering above me. Instead, I turned around and looked at them, hoping they wouldn't notice me but it had seemed that they had noticed the back of my head.

'Chloe!' Louis' voice rang through my head like an annoying buzz from a fly. I sighed and muttered under my breath and turned to face the boys coming in my direction. I wanted to ignore everything and run into Louis' arms like nothing had happened and everything was fine but I couldn't. I had to sit there and get used to Larry Stylinson becoming official and to see my two best friends have their hearts broken.

Harry stood behind everyone awkwardly, like he didn't really want to be there and Niall and Zayn stood together, giving the impression they weren't getting involved. I smiled at them all and it was Liam that stepped out of the group and pulled me into a hug.

I was all out of crying today so I just closed my eyes and buried my head in Liam's chest. He whispered something like 'I'm sorry' but I didn't want to hear any of it now. Louis having the one night stand with Louis wasn't the problem it was Louis being with Harry, knowing he liked him and not telling any of us. My friends were in pieces and I just wanted to scream.

When I pulled away he looked into my eyes and I could sense the pain that we were all going through. When I turned to Louis he started to talk but I shook my head and put my hand up, refusing to hear anything he had to say before I'd spoken.

'No, I don't want to hear it. Let me speak first before you start saying "it just felt right",' I said. Louis backed down a bit a stepped back a pace. 'Forget about it. Forget about everything. I don't want anything to do with you anymore. If we come across each other I'll be civilised but other than that everything is over.' I couldn't believe myself that I said it but Louis' face was something else. all 5 of the boys stood completely shocked that I'd given up with trying to repair our relationship already.

'But... I...' Louis stuttered. Harry moved to the front of the crowd and placed his hand on Louis' shoulder. I breathed heavily and went to grab my suitcases when Liam placed his hand on mine and took my bags for me. I smiled at him and we both made our way out by the doors to the runways.

I just had to leave them behind. I didn't know whether Jordan or Jess would still continue to have anything to do with them but I just couldn't deal with the pain anymore. I'd lost John and Jack and now I'd lost most of my friends. Liam and me stopped and he put my bags down and looked at me apologetically.

'I'm sorry for everything. I wish you didn't have to leave but it's obviously what you want. I didn't mean for me and Lou to happen. It just... happened.' Liam argued. I shook my head and smiled.

'Look, Liam I forgive you and I forgive Louis and Harry too but it's just too much to handle now and I can't be dealing with any of this anymore. I'm not angry with you for sleeping with Louis, I'm just angry because Louis knew this obviously a long time ago and never told me so instead he waited so he could cheat on me to tell me he was gay.'

'I don't think he did it intentionally, Chloe. But thanks for understanding. I'm gonna miss you. Where are you gonna go?'

'Well, I'm going back to England and I think I'm just gonna go back to live with my mum. She'll understand but please don't tell anyone okay?'

Liam nodded. 'Sure, I'll stay quiet.' He imitated zipping his lips up and throwing away the key. I hugged him one last time and went up to the desk. The woman ripped my ticket and let me through to the tunnel and onto the plane.

I opened my hand luggage and pulled out a photo of everyone on tour and a photo of my friends and One Direction. Then suddenly I started to cry.

This was going to be a long flight.


End file.
